Over the years of my career, I’ve dealt with many clueless people who wanted to make decisions anyway. I never understood how someone could be in charge of something they didn’t understand. The answer is, of course, they can’t, but that doesn’t stop them. It’s like someone being in charge of a basketball team despite not knowing anything about basketball, how it’s played, or the players in the league. But they’ll make decisions for the team anyway. There’s no way it will be successful.
The latest ruling by the supreme court to repeal Roe vs. Wade and the right to an abortion is the same. They didn’t think long term. It’s also funny how people made such a big deal about wearing a mask during COVID, something that’s not a huge inconvenience, and how it’s their choice. Something I can agree with if you’re alone, in your car, or with family. But in a crowded area, it’s not fair that people can get sick from you because you don’t want to wear a mask. It's against someone’s right to force them to wear a mask during a pandemic, but it’s somehow not against someone’s right to force them to have a kid. Perfectly normal logic.
After the leaked ruling, there was a video on YouTube, and I scrolled through the comments. One pro-life person said, “Look at all these people trying to justify murder.” Is that what they’re doing? Is it murder? Murder is never justifiable, but it’s hard to murder something that isn’t born. A fetus is not a human, and it’s a bunch of cells before. A pro-choice person said, “No one wants to have an abortion.” I think that really gets missed. A fetus is a person, but the person carrying it is not. Nobody says I hope I can get knocked up so I can abort the baby. But let’s just say a fetus is a person, and it’s wrong to have an abortion.
I talked to my dad about the leaked ruling, and he told me my mom had an abortion. I’m 41, and this was the first time I learned this. Apparently, a doctor was concerned about my mom’s health and said, “Something isn’t right. You need to have an abortion.” They did and never discussed it again. My dad said they gave them a red card with an x on it as if they had done something awful. If my mom were alive, I’m not sure if I would ask about it. I’d like to know her feelings, but it’s a sensitive subject. Now I’ll never know. But in this scenario, it’s okay for my mom to potentially die giving birth because the fetus’ life is more important than hers. Even though there’s a good chance, it would also die during the birth.
I dated a girl whose mom didn’t want her. Her mom became pregnant at 18, and I think she did not have an abortion for religious reasons. She moved away from the father and removed him entirely from the child’s life. Because it was clearly his fault, it’s not like it takes two people to have sex. She didn’t see him until she was 18. She also didn’t raise the kid. Her grandmother did. Then to make herself feel better, she called her daughter ugly every day. Instead of loving it, she put the rest of the blame on her daughter. Instead of taking any responsibility for the pregnancy and trying to make the best of it, she chose not to raise her, called her ugly, and did not allow her to see her father. Predictability, there were consequences.
She drank more than any person I’ve ever known. She still talked to her mother, and those conversations usually left her upset, and she’d go straight to the bottle. She never thought she was attractive even though she was. She got plastic surgery a few times, even ones she didn’t need, and told me she would get Botox. She ended up meeting her father later. Sadly, he passed away from cancer.
Her life was depressing, but I wanted to help. Eventually, I stopped dating her. Trust me when I say there wasn’t much dating. It was just too difficult for too many reasons. She was previously engaged twice, something I find hard to believe. It’s not hard to believe they never married. I suppose she should be happy she’s alive. But being an alcoholic, being unable to have a relationship, and having to talk to someone who never wanted you regularly is not a wonderful life.
My fiance was in the same unfortunate circumstance. Her mother became pregnant with her at 19, never wanted her, and wanted an abortion. However, her father wouldn’t let her. Unlike the previous girl, she had several other kids, including one three years later. I don’t see what difference a few years make. Predictably, my fiance’s life didn’t go well. It went worse than you can even imagine. I’m not going to say anything for several reasons. I will say she tried to kill herself twice because of those things, and then she met me after the second attempt.
She had cancer and needed several other surgeries. She signed a DNR before the first surgery, and I had to tell her to rip it up. After her third surgery, she said, “I wish I had died, and then it would be over.” Thankfully, she’s doing better healthwise. But it’s a mental battle every day. She’ll need to work hard to return to the life she once had before her mom took it from her.
Although I’m grateful she’s alive because I’m going to marry her, in certain respects, I wish she was never born. Then she wouldn’t have had to endure so many terrible things. It always breaks my heart when she says, “I’m not a bad person,” as she tries to understand what she did to deserve this life. My goal is to help her have a normal and happy life where she feels safe and loved. But I made a lot of sacrifices to get her to this point. Ones that not everyone can do.
Pro-life people always think they did their part when they saved the unborn babies’ life. But they haven’t done anything. The complex parts come after they are born when they conveniently aren’t around, and they aren’t going to raise or financially support them. This country also has no social support infrastructure. We have no affordable universal healthcare, paid family leave, free college, or childcare, things most countries in Europe offer. Ironically, most people who are pro-life are against these services. They want you to have a life but not a great one.
To be clear, I’m not pro-abortion. I’m pro-choice. Abortion should only be a last resort. But taking care of a child is a lifelong commitment. If you aren’t fully invested, you shouldn’t do it. The two examples above are people who chose to have kids they didn’t want. Their kids suffered mightily because of it. I love how people always say you can give it up for adoption. As if that’s easy or any better. There are plenty of kids who live in foster homes and orphanages who aren’t adopted. Knowing your parents didn’t want you is not a burden someone should endure their whole life. If you think abortions are wrong, that’s fine. Don’t get one. But you have no right to tell someone else what to do.
This planet doesn’t need more people because it’s already overpopulated, and we’re slowly destroying it with climate change. More people is not the answer. Forcing people to have babies they don’t want and could harm their health, benefits no one in society. All this could have been avoided if a minority of people didn’t elect a mentally disabled person to be president. Of course, another problem is that someone can receive fewer votes and still win an election. But that’s a topic for another day, as is having supreme court justices serving life terms determining today’s law based on something written over 200 years ago.